Red Velvet

I sacrificed for you today, Red Velvet. I ingested 5 servings of fruits and vegetables, today, Red Velvet. For you. I ate carrots, a banana, and an orange. For you. I drank several ounces of cranberry juice, Red Velvet. I did it all for you. For you to indulge in the steamy sauna of my mouth, for you to enter the tunnel of pacifism, for you to ride the corkscrew waves of my intestinal tube. I did this, Red Velvet. I. Did. This. For you.

Don't thank me now, Red Velvet. No gratitude of yours can compensate me for the sacrifices I made today, the sugar servings I withheld from myself when a little comfort was all I needed. No, the candy basket thanks you, Red Velvet. The candy basket thanks you, for all it needed forfeit to my voracious appetite on this day was a measly packet of Sweet Tarts. Sure, it was sweet. For a second. Before the tart. The candy basket thanks you.

This post is dedicated to those of you who often wear the "Lover of Red Velvet Cake" hat...sure, you may attempt to closet it, but we all know who you are!!!!

And for those of you looking for the perfect Red Velvet hat...


(Okay, it isn't actually velvet, but it looks every bit as tasty as the cake pictured above!) I saw this hat this weekend at Target, and I think it is adorable!!!